break

taking a little break from art things.  because i need to.  and because i didn't want to commit to anything i wasn't 100% sure i could do.  next thing i'm working on is for DAMNED.  and that show will happen in late october.  i am still sorting out this new life.  and they're right when they say things get worse before they get better.  but i am holding on.  and i have a lot of help from friends & family.  i feel very lucky about that.  but there are days (like today) where i don't know if i'm coming or going.

but it's becoming more clear what i want out of this life....but it won't be achieved fast or very easily.  i guess it's all about patience & persistence at this point.  and god, it gets rough....when i miss someone who was a big part of my life.  today is a particularly hard day.  and today, well, i wish he was there for me.  maybe he would be......but i have to back away....it is only making things worse by staying in his life.  weird how things can just change in an instant.

i need to find myself again.  i need to be a better person......and i know i am a good person.  but i want to be better than who i used to be.....and stronger.  day by day they say.......i want to get there.  i have to.